Draft / reflection on parenting

Now that I’m a parent myself, I keep asking: Does interesting require chaos? Does stability require boredom?

My wife and I are building a life rooted in art, story, ritual, place. A downtown building for a studio instead of a farmhouse. A puppet wagon instead of a haymow. Screenprinting ink instead of manure. Conservation work instead of factory shifts. I’m proud of that trajectory — it’s not easier, but it’s healthier for me.

Still, the old question gnaws: Would a simpler life be better for my child? Do I owe him ease, predictability, normalcy?

But then I remember: the farmstead didn’t damage me. It inflamed my imagination. It gave me animals, weather, real labor, long shadows, the feeling of being in a living story. What harmed me wasn’t the complexity — it was the scarcity mindset, the financial anxiety that lived under the floorboards, the sense that blessings always came at a cost.

So maybe the goal isn’t to be “normal.” Maybe the task is to build a life that is interesting without reenacting the fear that surrounded my childhood. A life with wonder, but not exhaustion. Creativity, but not martyrdom. Ritual, but not guilt.

My kid doesn’t need a hobby farm to thrive. He needs a parent who isn’t haunted by the belief that joy must be paid for in suffering.